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Juke Box John keeps changing his tune

August 06, 2008
The Republicans zeroed in on John Kerry during his bid for the presidency, constantly referring to him as a "flip-flopper." There may have been a small amount of truth to some of the criticism, but certainly not enough to ruin the man's chances of being elected. Between that and the false "swift boat" attacks, Kerry was made out to be the last person that should lead the country. But this time, the shoe is on the other foot. And I hope it tastes good.

John McCain must hold the world's record on flip-flopping. And in the last seven years, the man many people (including me, believe it or not) held a certain amount of respect for, has proven he's nothing more than another sold-out politician, dangling in the wind, waiting for it to blow him in the direction of the most votes. One Web site has dubbed him "Juke Box John" because he keeps "changing his tune."

There's nothing wrong with a politician changing his mind on an issue, especially if new information was considered and a different conclusion was reached. But just in the last few months, Juke Box John has changed almost every opinion he's ever had. Once believed to be a moderate Republican, he now sides with George W. Bush on almost everything, a complete turn around from the McCain of the past. What we have here folks is a bonafide, 14 carat, no-doubt-about-it flip-flopper. And if that was a bad thing for the country when Kerry was running for president, it's obviously a bad thing for the country this time around also.

We all heard the conservatives back then — "We don't want a flip-flopper for president." So, I guess it must be that they don't want Juke Box John. The same rules and qualifications should still apply.

There's not enough room in this paper to list all the McCain flip-flops, but let's highlight just a few of them.

•McCain thought Bush's warrantless-wiretap program circumvented the law. He now believes the opposite.

•He opposed indefinite detention of terrorist suspects, but when the Supreme Court reached the same decision, he called it "one of the worse decisions in the history of this country."

•McCain was for closing the detention center at Guantanamo Bay — before he was against it.

•McCain believed the United States should engage in diplomacy with Syria. Now, he believes the opposite.

•McCain recently claimed that he was the "greatest critic" of Donald Rumsfeld's failed Iraq policy. In December 2003, he praised the same strategy as "a mission accomplished." In March 2004, he said, "I'm confident we're on the right course." In December 2005, he said, "Overall, I think a year from now, we will have made a fair amount of progress if we stay the course."

•McCain was against additional forces in Afghanistan — before he was for it.

•McCain has repeatedly said, "It's a dangerous mistake to tell the 'enemy' when U.S. troops would be out of Iraq. In May, he announced that most American troops would come home from Iraq by 2013.

•McCain was against expanding the GI Bill — before he was for it.

•McCain defended "privatizing" Social Security. Now, he says he's against privatization, although he actually still supports it.

•McCain vowed, if elected, to balance the federal budget by the end of his first term. Soon after that, he decided he would no longer even try to reach that goal. And soon after that, he abandoned his second position and went back to his first.

•McCain supported the moratorium on coastal drilling. Now, he's against it.

•McCain was a co-sponsor of the Dream Act. Now, he's against it.

There is a list of over 60 of these McCain flip-flops listed at www.the carpetbaggerreport.com.

So, it's going to be interesting now to sit back and watch how the conservatives react to the flip-flopping of their candidate. There's a good chance that this year — well, it's not all that bad to flip-flop after all. Only when Democrats do it.

And in a recent television ad, McCain used images of Brittany Spears and Paris Hilton in an effort to convince voters not to vote for Obama. When asked about the ads, McCain responded, "Oh, we were just having a little fun."

Well, then it must be just fine if Democrats have a little fun also, so I wrote a little poem.

Georgie had a little lamb, his hair was white as snow

And everywhere that Georgie went — the lamb was sure to go

Followed him to Iraq one day, it was against the rules

It would make Halliburton laugh and play, if we elected another fool

"Another hundred years of this," said the Halliburton crew

"And we'll own the White House — and the rest of the money, too"

Juke Box John says he'll save us all — but what's he saving us from?

The mess that he helped Bush create? Does he think we're all that dumb?

George told John to change his name, to give his campaign a push

'Cause no one likes John McCain — but they'd love John McBush

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