Posted on

Candy, crushed … and melted

Candy, crushed … and melted
Candy, crushed … and melted
Stephanie Taylor Ferriell
By Stephanie Taylor Ferriell, Senior Staff Writer, [email protected]

Anyone who knows me knows I have a sweet tooth. Always have. My youngest son, Warner, inherited this trait from me and then some. I joke that he doesn’t have a sweet tooth; he has a whole mouth full of them.

He also seems to be a bit of a hoarder, especially when it comes to candy. Unlike chocolate and peanut butter (two things that go great together), this turned out to be a very bad combination for him recently.

I was in Warner’s room helping him sort through the mass of clothes on his floor. Something smelled funny, and it wasn’t the dirty socks.

“What in the world?” I thought, looking around.

It was then that I saw a couple of gnats swirling around his nightstand. Oh, no. Filled with dread, I opened the drawer, finding one of the nastiest messes I’ve encountered as a mother.

The drawer was halfway full of candy, some of it dating back to the fair parade, I have no doubt. Some was halfway unwrapped, loose pieces were crushed and it was all gommy and gooey and stuck together. The icing on the cake, so to speak, was the Gatorade bottle. The cap was not closed tightly, and it had dripped and dripped.

Here’s a science fact for you: candy + sports drink = glue.

Voices were raised, numerous redundant questions were directed at Warner: What in the world were you thinking? Why do you think it’s OK to have a drawer full of candy? Why would you put a drink in there? Why didn’t you tell us when it spilled?

The answers were obvious. Remember what Ralphie says in “A Christmas Story” when he and his chums are asked if they put Flick up to sticking his tongue on the flagpole? The teacher says she’s sure the guilt they feel is far worse than any punishment they could receive. Ralphie laughs inside as we hear him say, “Every kid knows it’s always better to get by with something than to get caught.”

Well, Warner’s situation did not end like Ralphie’s. He was caught red-handed.

And now, he was empty-handed. His other box of candy (yes, there was yet another stash) was taken away. I put on rubber gloves and tried to remove the melty mess from the drawer but to no avail. A perfectly fine nightstand was ruined. Now, he has to use his own money to buy another one. He’s also now subject to weekly drawer inspections.

I’m sure Warner thought he had a sweet situation going on, but this one turned sour. And sticky. Very sticky.